CompassionPit Blog

I found one of the core Socket.IO contributors on IRC. Socket.IO is the software that powers CompassionPit. So I made a $50 donation to the Red Cross in his honor

Thank you `3rd-Eden!

Soo, recently my friend Brian had this to say in his email newsletter at aphilosophersnotes.com

. =)

Overdosing on Serotonin

Ever heard about the effects of kindness on your brain? It goes something like this:

Serotonin makes you feel good. It’s one of the drugs the pharmaceutical companies pump into those wonderful little antidepressants. It’s also a little drug God decided to pump through our brains when we do things He/She/It likes—kinda like a little reward for good behavior.

Here’s what’s cool: When you do something kind for someone, the person you’re helping has serotonin released in her brain—she feels happier. And, so do you.

Pretty sweet, eh? Two more serotonin-induced happier people in the world! Yayuh!

Perhaps the most incredible thing is this: Not only do you and the person you helped feel better, so does some random person who happened to watch your act of kindness. That’s amazing.

So, uh, how ’bout a little serotonin overdose today?!

 

From this great article on the New York Times website:

Dos

• If you write them, tell them to not bother writing you back
• Keep your visits minimal – 20 minutes max – and clean up the place while you’re there
• Offer some Gossip
• Say “I love you”

Don’ts

• Do not Ask What can I do to help? This is often shallow
• Do not Say, “My thoughts and prayers are with you” – this is also cliche
• Do not Bug them about other alternative cures that you think they should try
• Do not baby them, saying “How are we today?” Treat them like an adult (assuming they are teenage or adult-age!) Think of how you would have liked to be treated when you were a kid… probably as an adult, too.
• Do not promise everything will be ok – it’s a lie and you do not know that
• Do not say “Everything happens for a reason”
• Do not tell them they look great, they will know it is a lie and it will actually hurt more

Read the article, it’s great.  I hope this helps with listening on CompassionPit

Remember, we need to care about other people.

Yes, M.I.A. sampled this song when she made Paper Planes. Just remember not to be “MIA” – Missing In Action – for the people in your life. We all need each other.

Thanks a lot to “runningdogx”, aka vandemar from the nginx support channel … we now have a forum!

Check it out: http://www.CompassionPit.com/forum/!

When listening to someone it is important that we are present so that the person being listened to can receive the full warmth and benefits from our listening. But what does it really mean to be present?

A concept I like is Transformative Presence. When we are present in a way aligned with the principles of Transformative Presence, our interactions can be especially powerful and meaningful. TP is about four things: intentionality, mutuality, individuality and attentiveness.

Intentionality: Entering an interaction with a sense of purpose and conscious awareness: “I choose to be here, and I am here to listen”. It also means giving the interaction our undivided attention.

Mutuality: meeting the other person “where they are”. Focus on the aspects of trust and honesty in the relationship.. it is not about giving advice. It is about fostering a feeling of trust and honesty between the two of you.

Individuality: being aware of your own emotional reactions in the conversation.

Finally, Attentiveness: sharing our reactions, asking the other person to elaborate, and demonstrating to the other person that we are engaged with them.

When we hit the checklist of all these components – our conversations have the potential to be powerful and healing.

I hope we can all keep these in mind when participating on CompassionPit as listeners.

Hi Zack,

My name is Loralee, aka Starla126 on twitter. I recently came across Compassion Pit and am totally in love with it! I go on almost every night as a listener and have had some amazing conversations with people I don’t even know! Last night I was on as a listener and ended up talking to a young boy who was telling me how he and his mom and sister were abused by his dad. Although I know this site is not designed for this type of extreme situation, I had to do everything I could and wanted to share the story with you. The boy I was talking to is only 12. He has a little sister who is 4 and they are both home schooled in Illinois. We talked about the abuse for a bit and he said he had only ever told his grandma about it. She called the cops and they arrested the dad, but he was released and when he came home he broke the moms arm. No police involvement happened after that. The boy didn’t know what to do and was so scared, and even thought Im far away in Washington State I had to do anything I could to help him. I am 21 and couldn’t stand by while a 12 year old was reaching out. I looked up the Illinois DCFS Child Abuse Hotline number and gave it to him and told him to call them and tell them everything he told me. He kept the chat open and came back to talk to me after he called. He said they told him that his dad cant hit him anymore and they were going to help. They said the cops would come that night. So The boy was going to go wake up his little sister and stay with her until the cops came. I gave him my number in case he ever wanted to talk again. Him being able to reach out through your site when his parents were asleep and talk to a willing and person may have saved his or his sisters life. I just wanted to share this with you and thank you for creating such a wonder and safe place for people to reach out.

Loralee

The entire team is grateful to Loralee for helping out. We need more people like her in the world.